


Space Dementia

by chagyu



Category: Torchwood
Genre: I promise it's Jack/Ianto eventually John's just there to be suave & good at cooking, M/M, i'm not sure if tw even still has a fandom but..., this is so old i wrote this when s2 was airing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chagyu/pseuds/chagyu
Summary: Ianto and Jack seem to be drifting apart; the arrival of one Captain John Hart will either set them back on course or completely ruin them. Ianto's not so sure which, and frankly, if Jack keeps flirting with Gwen like that, he's preparing for the latter.Alternately, how Jack's ex-lover saves his current one.





	Space Dementia

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where in the timeline this fits in. When everyone's happy and their only problem is weevils?

"Just don't forget a candle's fire is only just a flame."

 

And there they were again. Gwen and Jack tucked into a corner together. It was innocent enough, if one didn't know any better. But Ianto knew. It was hard to miss to the members of Torchwood Three. Owen had long since gotten over his little fling with Gwen. He liked to think the two of them had a pretty normal working relationship, considering. Tosh noticed the way Gwen and Jack acted with each other, but didn't really feel one way or the other about it; it wasn't any of her business.

But Ianto cared. The more he tried to convince himself he wasn't in love with his boss, the more he realized he was. They shagged every four or five nights, or whenever Jack wanted to. Ianto could never really find it in him to deny him. Ianto knows that all he is to Jack is a weekly shag, and it hurts, god does it hurt, but he's sort of out of options. It's better to be something to Jack than nothing at all. Because there's really no one quite like Captain Jack Harkness. 

Gwen giggles at whatever Jack is saying, and he leans over and breathes something into her ear. Ianto wants to hate her, he wants to despise her for taking Jack from him, but he knows that Jack isn't his, or hers, or anyone's really. Jack flirts with who he wants to, sleeps with who he wants to, and is practically incapable of the three words Ianto desparately wants to hear from him.

Some days are worse than others. This is looking like one of those days. Ianto walks away from the center of the Hub, smoothing out lines that aren't there in his ever-present suit. Today's ensemble is navy blue with light stripes, an ivory shirt, and deep red tie. He walks slowly to the coffee machiene, seeing no point in rushing. There'd been no rift activity in three days. Tosh was busy setting up a new encoding program that was meant to track a specific type of energy spike that'd been appearing around Cardiff lately. Owen was lazily inputting old alien autopsy data into the system. Gwen was meant to be scanning for patterns in missing persons reports, but instead Jack was telling her a story about one of his old lovers.

"Two heads meant twice the fun. And it really was a lot of fun..." he finished, smiling as he remembered.

"You actually slept with a bloke with two heads?!" Gwen asks increduously.

"Just once. What a night!" Jack barks, laughing loudly. Ianto returns with coffee for each of them, placing one on everyone's desk before making to return to the tourist office.

An alarm sounds from Tosh's computer, and five minutes later, the five are packed into the car, heading off to handle yet another weevil problem. 

 

"See you all tommorrow then," Jack says, as Tosh, Owen, Gwen, and Ianto pack up their things for the day and turn off certain equipment. Ianto considers sticking around to see if Jack will invite him to bed, but decides against it. It'd been a long day, and all he wants is to shower and collapse into bed. He walks out with Tosh, smiling politely when they reach their cars.

Ianto unlocks the door to his flat and slips in quietly, sighing softly to himself. He takes off his jacket, rolling up the sleeves on his shirt. He loosens his tie as he approaches the fridge, hoping he still has something edible.

"Well hello there, Eye Candy," a voice says from behind him, and in two-point-five seconds, Ianto has the intruder pinned against the wall with a gun to his head.

"Hey, hey now, not that I don't like it rough, but that may be going a little too far," John Hart says, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Give me one good reason not to shoot you," Ianto says, not lowering the gun at all.

"I've rigged this place with explosives," John says, and Ianto swallows audibly. Neither moves for a minute, but then Ianto slowly lowers the gun. John grabs it quickly before the other man can react, but instead of pointing it at him, he empties the magazine, dumping the bullets into his pocket. From what Ianto can see, he's not carrying any other weapons. John chucks the gun on the table.

"Why are you here?" Ianto says quietly.

"For this," John says, and then he kisses him.

Ianto's brain goes to auto-pilot, because he's never really kissed a guy before. Jack's, well, Jack is Jack. Ianto had never been attracted to a bloke before Jack, so he'd just assumed it would only ever be Jack. But his first reaction to John's lips on his is not, oh my god why the fuck are you kissing me get off, but rather, never stop never stop why are you wearing so many clothes. When the more rational part of his brain finally kicks in, he pushes John off.

"What are you, no, why did you, what-"

"Don't deny that you enjoyed that. I can tell you did," John says a bit smugly, briefly glancing down at Ianto's trousers. The Welshman blushes slightly.

"I, uh, why are you-"

"You're in love with Jack." He says it without any judgment, as if simply stating the weather.

"Why does that matter? Wait, are you trying to distract me because there's explosives in here?" Ianto says, adrenaline kicking in. He backs away from John, but the other man steps even closer to him.

"It matters because Jack doesn't fall in love. I'd know. Look, I've been where you are now. Shagging, but never more."

"So, what, you propose I shag you? And what about the explosives?" Ianto asks.

"Let me help you get over him. And I lied about that, of course, don't be an idiot." Ianto is caught between wanting to take him up on his offer or murdering him. Both are looking about equal at the moment. He opts for the less bloody of the two, grabbing John's face and smashing their lips together in a frantic, messy kiss. From there to the bedroom, it's all discarded clothing and clacking teeth and breathless moans. John slams Ianto onto the bed, crawling up his body to reunite their mouths, before moving downward and licking anywhere he can.

Ianto's mind is completely blank, which is a new feeling for him. With Jack, he's memorizing every sensation and cataloging it, all the while being careful of what he says. He has a feeling screaming "I love you" is probably the quickest way to get Jack to stop sleeping with him.

With his other lovers, he's always been concerned with them and how they're feeling. He's completely devoted to their pleasure. 

With John, it's different. It's explosive and passionate, but Ianto can feel how careful he's being to make sure Ianto is comfortable. He's listening to each and every sound Ianto makes, determining what gets the best reaction.

It's dangerous and terrifying and the best shag Ianto's had in awhile, which is saying something considering he slept with Jack three days ago.

Afterwards, they're both lying on the bed breathing heavily. Ianto's desparately trying to stay awake, knowing that it's probably a terrible idea to let someone who tried to kill his entire team be around him when he's unconcious, but he had just shagged the guy, so boundaries had definitely been broken. He slips into unconciousness, vaguely aware that there was a warm weight settled next to him.

It's six thirty when he wakes up. His alarm is programmed to go off then every morning. Ianto blindly searches for the button, but to no avail.

"Turn that bloody thing off," John grumbles from beside him, and Ianto is suddenly wide awake, because John Hart is in his bed. He didn't really know what he was expecting, but either he wouldn't wake up in the morning because John had killed him or the man would be long gone. He shuts the alarm off and sits up, stirring John, who lazily cracks an eye open.

"Hm. This is a tad awkward," he says, making no attempt to move.

"Yeah, I'd say that covers it," Ianto says, nodding slowly.

"Well, I was going to leave last night but...er..." John says. He looks slightly embarrassed for once, and Ianto decides he just really doesn't care, and it's such a freeing feeling.

"Yeah, yeah. Well I'm going to shower now." For a second, Ianto thinks John is going to offer to join him, but instead he says, "So what have you got to eat around here?"

"Nothing much," Ianto says, climbing out of bed, and John whistles appreciatively at Ianto's naked ass. Ianto finds himself smiling, almost fondly, and decides it's about time for a freak-out and possible life evaluation. He walks into the bathroom, and shuts the door behind him. He runs the water hot enough to almost burn and fill the room with steam. He takes a rather long shower, just considering things. John Hart, ex-lover of his current lover, was in his home, had spent the night in his bed, had slept with him.

Ianto wasn't as straight as he thought he was. And he wouldn't exactly consider himself gay, because he still did find women attractive. Deciding that the whole slept-with-the-ex-lover-of-my-lover thing was a bit more important than his sexuality, he filed that away to worry about later and climbed out of the shower. Wrapped in a towel, he went back to his room. He put on a black suit with a waistcoat and a rich red shirt. As he approached the kitchen, he realized that something smelt seriously good. 

"You cook?" Ianto asks. John is standing at his oven, adding various ingredients to a silver pan.

"Omelettes, I can manage," he replies, pulling one out of the pan and putting it onto a plate. Ianto eyes it slightly suspiciously, but upon John's expectent look, he takes a bite.

"Wow," he says, because seriously, who knew eggs could taste that good? Ianto hadn't even been aware he had enough food in his flat to manage an omelette, let alone one this good.

"What, did you think it would be awful?" John mocks.

"Or poisoned, yeah," Ianto replies, taking another bite. 

"I won't hurt you." Although he says it jokingly, his eyes tell a different story. Ianto can't help but stare at him for a moment, feeling something indescribable surging inside him. Then he catches sight of the clock.

"Shit," he swears softly, shovelling more of the godly omelette into his mouth before dashing to the door.

"What, I don't even get a goodbye kiss? What kind of working husband are you?" John calls, and Ianto snorts loudly. He backtracks to the kitchen, where John is still standing with a spatula. Ianto kisses him thoroughly, before stepping back.

"Does that make you my housewife?" he asks childishly.

"Have a good day at work, sweetie!" John calls, and Ianto rolls his eyes indulgently as he leaves the house. He spends the entire drive to the Hub thinking about what the hell just happened.

He wouldn't exactly call it panicking, but it's similar. It's a weird sensation to know that someone who'd tried to kill him last time they met had just made him breakfast. Ianto walks into the Hub, distracted, and doesn't notice the look Jack's giving him.

"Ianto, think you could make us some coffee? Looks like it's gonna be another slow day," Jack says.

"Of course, sir," Ianto says, walking off to prepare the coffee. Tosh and Owen have both arrived already. Tosh is tapping away at her computer, completely engrossed in her work, while Owen is leaning back in his chair, his arms folded behind his head. Gwen has yet to arrive, but the team knows it's probably because she's sleeping in with Rhys.

When Ianto returns with the coffees, Gwen has arrived, and she, Owen, and Tosh are in the middle of another of their childish arguments.

"C'mon, then, when was the last time you shagged anyone?" Owen loudly questions Tosh, who blushes bright red. Gwen is grinning her toothy smile, and even Jack looks amused by their teasing.

"It doesn't matter!" Tosh squeaks.

"Oh, c'mon Tosh!" Gwen says. "We're all friends here. I'll tell you, Owen'll say his, even Jack will tell all!"

"Oh, alright. It's, well, been awhile...about two months," Tosh finally says. Gwen grins at her.

"Well, for me, it's been about a morning," she says. Owen groans.

"I really don't want to think about you and that beast you call fiancee shagging," he complains.

"When did you last...?" Tosh asks Owen.

"It's been, uh, four days? Yeah, four," he says after a moment.

"And what about you, Captain Harkness?" Gwen asks, smiling at him. Jack looks directly at Ianto as he answers.

"Three days." Tosh and Gwen giggle at the way Jack is looking at Ianto.

"Well, I'd ask you, Teaboy, but I think we all know the answer," Owen says.

"Last night," Ianto says, setting down the last of the coffees. There's an incredibly awkward silence as Tosh, Owen, and Gwen each try to secretly glance at Jack's reaction. Ianto refuses to meet anyone's eyes.

"Right..." Jack says, as if he's light years away.

"With who?!" Gwen asks increduously, and to Ianto, she even sounds a bit hopeful, as if Ianto has finally moved on from Jack.

"Someone...unexpected," Ianto says.

"Yeah, I think the fact you shagged someone other than the Captain is a bit unexpected..." Owen says, and everyone in the room seems to be in silent agreement.

"Ianto-" Jack says, just as Ianto's phone rings loudly. The Welshman glances at it curiously. No one really ever calls him on his cell. Occaisionally, his sister will call to check up on him, but she knows about his work hours. The caller ID simply says "Unknown", so he answers it.

"You're out of maple syrup," John says without preamble.

"Good to know," Ianto replies..

"You really should pick some up," John continues.

"Do it yourself, I'm working," Ianto returns, and it's probably one of the weirdest situations he's been in for awhile.

"I find supermarkets disgusting. Can't you just go get it for me?"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Ianto says slowly.

"Oh? Is it because if you see me, you'll instantly find yourself unable to resist me-"

"I'm going to hang up now," Ianto threatens, and Tosh, Gwen, Owen, and Jack are all staring at him curiously.

"I love you, baby, and if it's quite alright I need you baby to warm the lonely nights-" Ianto hangs up the phone as John continues to sing.

"That was...?" Gwen prompts.

"My sister," Ianto replies easily, sliding his phone into his pocket. It's clear that no one really believes him, but no one's actually going to say anything about it.

"Right then. I'll be in the archives if anyone needs me." And with that, he turns and leaves, leaving the other four to talk amongst themselves.

"Uh, Jack?" Owen asks his slowly. Jack is still staring at the spot that Ianto had been standing in.

"Jack, not that it's any of our business, but aren't you and Ianto...you know, a couple?" Tosh asks gently. Jack shakes himself out of it.

"No, we're...You're right, it's none of your business. Back to work!" he calls, walking quickly back to his office. Gwen, Tosh, and Owen share a worried look.

Ianto spends the morning in the archives, reorganizing in an attempt to make the system easier to use. It's noon when he re-enters the Hub, intending to go for lunch. Just as he's walking over to Tosh's desk to see if she'd like to join him, the rift activity detection program chirps loudly. Owen and Gwen groan loudly, while Jack comes quickly out of his office.

"Well then, let's get to work!" Jack says, and it's obvious to the others that he's not in a very good mood. Ianto nods and makes to walk to the car, when he realizes he doesn't have his gun on him. Not that it would matter if he had the bloody thing, seeing as John still has the magazine. Ianto begins walking to the Torchwood armory room.

"Ianto, van's that way!" Jack calls, sounding more than a little annoyed.

"I am well aware, sir, but thank you for that."

"Where are you...?"

"Armory, sir. I seem to have...forgotten my gun. I'll be out in a few minutes." With that, he walks away quickly. As soon as he's out of earshot, the others begin talking.

"Tea-boy forgetting something? What the hell's going on?" Owen asks.

"Especially his weapon...How do you just forget a gun?" Tosh asks, and the way she says it implies a lot about her feelings on the usage of guns.

"Well, Ianto was out with someone last night...Maybe he was still with them this morning. Lord knows Rhys can be distracting in the morning." Gwen adds. Jacks stomps off to the van, and with a confused look, the others follow. Ianto joins them a minute later, riding shot gun with Jack driving.

"Uh, so...Ianto, the person you were with last night..." Gwen begins in the awkwardly silent drive to the rift spike area. Jack tenses and focuses completely on however Ianto will respond. "Was it a relationship, or..."

"It was. Er. Well. There's not exactly a good way to describe it." He responds, not looking at any of them.

"Well, did the two of you go on a date?" Tosh asks, also curious. Ianto snorts loudly.

"No, definitely not. Perhaps we should just...drop it," he says, feeling more uncomfortable the more the team questions. Jack and he were never exclusive, Ianto knew that. But still, if Jack knew that Ianto had slept with one of his ex's, he might be more than a bit upset.

"Yeah, yeah, but we're just curious. Didn't really know you were the type for bar hook-ups," Owen chimes in.

"It wasn't a bar hook-up, and I wasn't drunk," Ianto replies, and now he knows Jack is focusing on him. His cell phone's ring seems so much louder than it actually is in the small space. "I've got to put this thing on silent..." he mutters, checking the caller ID to find that once again it says "Unknown."

"Yes?" he answers it, not sounding happy.

"Oh, jeez Eye Candy, did I catch you at a bad time?" John asks sarcastically. It seems like there is a lot of noise in the background

"What is it this time?" Ianto asks, wanting this conversation to be over.

"Ah, yes. I was wondering exactly how to shut off this stupid fire alarm," John asks. Ianto gulps.

"What. Did. You. Do?" he asks, eerily calm.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Well, there is the small matter of the oven, but honestly-"

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Ianto yells into the phone, terrified of the state he'll find his flat in. All four of his team members are listening intently to Ianto's conversation in an attempt to understand it.

"Well you were out of maple syrup!" John yells back, sounding more amused than anything else.

"I'm going to kill you. I'm seriously going to kill you," Ianto growls, and Jack smirks ever so slightly.

"Mmm, is that a euphism? Speaking of sexing you up, get home soon, there's nothing to do here and I'm bored out of my mind," John says, and Ianto is slightly relieved to hear that the fire alarm has finally shut off.

"Then leave," Ianto mutters.

"I can't." A moment passes.

"Why not?" 

"Well, you see that lovely wriststrap of Jack's? His vortex manipulator? If you steal that for me, I'll be out of here in a heartbeat. But mine is...out of service at the moment." 

"You broke it?" Ianto chuckles. The van swerves slightly on the road as it approaches its destination.

"Yes, well, Eye Candy, like I said, snatch your boy Jack's and I'm out of here," John says, and Ianto rolls his eyes.

"Did you really think that would work? That's rather sad, actually."

"Hmm, you sound tense, Yan-toe Jones. Is Jack there?"

"Yes."

"And he knows about us."

"No."

"But he knows you were with someone...Interesting," John says, his voice drifting.

"How so?" Ianto asks.

"No, nevermind, unimportant. Get more maple syrup!" John yells before hanging up.

"Prick," Ianto mutters, hanging up his phone.

"And that was, who, exactly?" Jack asks as they finally pull up the a farm warehouse.

"You know already, sir," Ianto says. "My sister." He climbs out of the car and ignores the looks from Tosh, Owen and Gwen.

There's a strange silence as they enter the warehouse, but then it's down to business. There's three weevils inside, each looking equally dangerous. 

"Alright, Tosh, you and Owen take the one on the left. Gwen and Ianto will handle the one on the right. The middle one's all mine." The others nod, drawing their weapons and running towards their assigned weevils. Owen and Tosh easily manage to subdue it, and Jack has no trouble either.

"Shit," Gwen says, squeezing the trigger as hard as she can, only to find it's jammed. Just as the weevil's about to lunge at her, Ianto fires, and the creature falls onto the ground. Gwen breathes a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, mate," she says, and Ianto smiles slightly in return. They load the three into the van, intending to take them back to the Hub. Owen, Tosh, and Gwen climb in the back, leaving Ianto to once again sit in the front. He half expects his phone to ring again, but luckily, it doesn't.

The rest of the day Ianto spends in the archives, meticulously cleaning and organizing. Just as he's about to go home, Jack calls him into his office. Tosh, Owen, and Gwen do nothing to hide their curiousity.

"This can't be good..." Owen says, and the girls nod in agreement.

"Yes sir?" Ianto asks as he enters. Jack is sitting at his desk, pretending to be busy with paperwork.

"Ah, Ianto, don't you think we can drop the sir for now?" Jack asks teasingly.

"Yes, Jack," Ianto replies easily.

"I was actually wondering if...you had any plans tonight?" Jack asks, his face not betraying his emotions at all. Ianto considers saying that he's free, but he knows that Jack will ask him about last night. Plus there's a psychotic git in his flat who may have already burned it down.

"I'm sorry, I've already got something. Perhaps another time...?" Ianto asks. Jack only looks dissapointed for a millisecond, before slipping back into his usual joking manner.

"Yeah, of course. Good night, Ianto," Jack says, diving right back into his paperwork. Ianto leaves the office feeling equally disappointed and relieved. Tosh and Gwen pretend to be deep in conversation when he passes them, and Owen seems to suddenly find his moniter to be the most interesting thing in the world. Ianto collects his things and leaves the Hub, hearing his name whispered by his co-workers.

On a whim, he picks up a bottle of maple syrup on the way home.

As Ianto walks up the stairs to his flat, he can here faint music playing. The closer he gets to his flat, the louder the music gets. It's only when he's standing outside the door that he recognizes the song. Of course John would play this.

"I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside!" The man himself is singing loudly as Ianto lets himself inside. He's relieved to find that there's very little damage done to his place, besides the completely destroyed fire alarm. It's mangled to pieces and strewn across the floor.

"You get me closer to God!" John continues, as Ianto walks over to the radio and shuts it off. John raises an eyebrow at him.

"C'mon, now, Eye Candy, it was playing our song."

"Is there really no one you'd rather annoy than me?" Ianto asks, exasparated. He places the bag containing the syrup on the counter, and John immeadiately opens it and pulls out the bottle, staring at it like it's gold.

"Guess who's having pancakes for dinner? I am," John says, and Ianto barely resists the urge to rip his own hair out. It was like talking to a five year old. A dangerous, deadly, could-probably-kill-him-any-second five year old, but still a five year old nonetheless.

"Listen, John-"

"Eye Candy, honestly, can't you think of anything better to call me? John's such a boring name."

"What, like Vera?" Ianto asks snidely, thinking of Gwen's banter with the man.

"No, no, that'll remind me too much of Green Eyes. Oh well, I'm sure you'll think of something," John says. He's moving around the kitchen, gathering ingredients to make himself pancakes.

"How long do you plan on staying?" Ianto asks, knowing he won't like the answer.

"Well, like I said before, just steal Jack's vort-"

"Not going to happen," Ianto says immeadiately, and John scoffs, rolls his eyes and continues.

"Then I guess I'm stuck here until I find a way to leave," he replies. Ianto runs his hands through his hair several times, before walking over to the couch and flopping down onto it, his hands covering his eyes. He moves them behind his head and exhales. The only sound in the flat for the next ten or so minutes is John shuffling around the kitchen, pouring flour and cracking eggs. When the smell of the pancakes wafts into Ianto's nose, he decides to get up and move into the kitchen. He sits down at the small table and John sets a plate down in front of him. Ianto's small smile says his thanks, and neither of them speaks for the entire meal.

Afterwards, they shag. John's much rougher than the night before, and Ianto finds it's just what he needs. He makes a mental note to buy a new fire alarm before he falls asleep.

 

John's in the living room when Ianto wakes up. He climbs into the shower, and enters the living room ten minutes later wearing a red shirt and black suit. John whistles appreciatively before turning his attention back to the television.

"Honestly, television in the twenty-first century is rubbish. Not a single person is dying on any variety show!" he says.

"Now that's entertainment," Ianto mutters, slipping on his shoes. He has time to stop at the bakery near the tourist center this morning and pick up himself (and maybe the others) some breakfast.

"Do you have plans tonight?" John asks suddenly. Ianto's caught a little off-guard.

"Uh...I don't believe so, although Jack-"

"Great. We'll go out to dinner. Be back by seven," John says, as if it's a settled matter.

"But-" Ianto begins.

"No buts. We're going. Or, I could just call your cell phone all day..." John threatens.

"I'll just leave it home," Ianto replies. He didn't really get too many calls anyway.

"Oh, but what if that dear, sweet sister of yours calls?" John argues. Ianto groans.

"How do you even know about her?" he asks, annoyed.

"Well, you were gone an awful long time yesterday."

"So you went through my stuff?!" Ianto asks. He catches sight of the clock and sighs. If he didn't leave soon, he'd be late, and that would make the others even more suspicious of him. Ianto Jones was never late. "Alright, fine, I'll be back at seven. Don't call me."

"Bye, darling!" John calls mockingly as Ianto leaves the flat. He picks up a platter of croissants from the bakery before entering the Hub. Jack is already there, obviously, since he never really leaves. Tosh is busy at work already. Ianto offers her the platter and she gratefully accepts a croissant. He leaves the tray on her desk as he goes off to make coffee for everyone. Jack smiles at him as he passes and Ianto returns it.

The day is beyond boring, which is just fine with Ianto. Gwen and Owen investigate a report that turns out to just be a prank by some school children. Toshiko works on a particularly difficult rift program for much of the day, and Jack manages to piss of at least three high-ranking UNIT employees, which Ianto will have to sort out later. 

At about six thirty, Gwen approaches Ianto. Tosh, Owen, and Jack are all nearby, Tosh attempting to work while Jack and Owen mess around.

"Hey, Ianto, want to come grab a bite and a pint with Jack, Owen, and I? Tosh's got a dinner meeting with some science proffesor or something, but the four of us could still have fun!" she says. Ianto smiles politely.

"I'm sorry, I've already got plans this evening." Jack looks over at this, and it's clear that Tosh and Owen are listening to Ianto as well.

"Oh? You've got a date, then?" she asks, smiling.

"Er, well, that's probably not the best term for it..."

"A date then," Gwen says, smirking now. "Who with? Is she pretty?"

"Gwen," Ianto says seriously, "drop it."

"Alright, Mr. Touchy. Go have fun on your Not-Date."

Ianto rolls his eyes slightly, then nods goodbye to the others. "Have fun tonight. I'll see you tomorrow," he says as he leaves the Hub. Jack's still giving him a weird look but he figures that considering he's about to go to dinner with a fifty-first century con man, he's got bigger problems.

He arrives back at this flat to find that John has changed into one of his suits. Ianto's at first mildly annoyed, but considering the man had done nothing but touch his things and invade his personal space since he arrived, Ianto's temper stays down. And besides that, John actually looks pretty good in the suit. It's not exactly tailored to his body (he and Ianto are different sizes afterall) but it's close enough that the suit doesn't look too tight or too loose. It's one of his less expensive ones, black with a cream undershirt. John's even wearing a tie.

"Someone decided to get dressed up," Ianto remarks. John smirks at him.

"Well I did say I was taking you out. Give me your keys." Ianto is only slightly bothered by the fact that he immeadiately tosses over his keys. The two make their way to Ianto's car, John going as far as opening Ianto's door for him. 

"So where are we going?" Ianto asks. He'd been unaware that John even knew the area well enough to plan a night out. 

"Somewhere fancy," John replies easily as he pulls out of the parking spot and peels down the street, taking each corner much faster than necessary. It's soothing, Ianto realizes, that John drives the same as Jack: completely reckless. 

They arrive fifteen minutes later at an Italian restraunt Ianto had only ever heard of once, let alone been inside. John opens the passenger side door for Ianto, and the two make their way inside. The sky is completely dark by now, and the restraunt is brightly lit. There's soft music playing, and combined with the steady clink of silverware on plates, it's an overall romantic atmosphere. 

"Reservations for two, under Jones," John tells the greeter. He checks his roster quickly, and then asks the two of them to follow him to a table towards the back. A white tablecloth covers the table, with a vase of three red roses in the center and a small chandelier hanging above. Ianto sits down cautiously, as if expecting something to blow up at any second.

"This place is...nice," Ianto says finally. John's sitting across from him, not leering, but looking at Ianto. He smiles slightly.

"It's a bit more than nice," he corrects. There's really nothing Ianto can say to that, so he remains quiet. Their waiter comes a few minutes later, and John orders a bottle of wine for them before Ianto can say anything. When the waiter has brought (and poured) them their wine, John also orders Ianto's meal for him.

"I just know you'll love it, Eye Candy," he says, and Ianto doesn't really have it in him to complain. He is getting free food afterall. Well, he hopes it's free, because he's sure not paying for it.

When the food arrives, it's beyond delicioius. Ianto is practically making love to his steak, and John keeps smirking at him, so proud of himself for having ordered well. Just as the Welshman is about to inhale another bite, he spots Tosh walking into the restraunt. He nearly chokes as she makes her way over to an older gentlemen sitting in the corner.

"Shit," Ianto mutters, grabbing John by the hand and rushing towards the back of the restraunt, where he hopes an exit is. There isn't one, so he heads for the men's bathroom.

"Well, someone couldn't wait until we got home," John says, his hands going to Ianto's tie and beginning to loosen it.

"I am not having sex with you in a men's loo!" Ianto cries, glad that there's no one else in there with them.

"Then why are we in here?" John doesn't stop trying to undress him though.

"Because," Ianto says, removing John's hands, "Tosh is out there. I knew she had a meeting tonight, but I had no idea it was here!"

"Oh? The cute Asian one's here? Why don't we go say hello?" John says, already trying to make his way around Ianto.

"No way in hell," Ianto replies immeadiately. "Also, if she knows you're here, she'll call Jack, and he'll send you somewhere very unpleasant."

"Honestly, Eye Candy, do you really think Jack would do that to me?" Ianto raises his eyebrow. "Yes, okay, so maybe he would. Fine, fine, I won't say hello then. But you should." With that, he shoves Ianto out of the bathroom. Tosh looks up and spots him. She gives him a funny look, but stays at her table, obviously in the middle of a conversation with the man. Ianto turns back to the bathroom and opens the door, but John isn't there. One of the windows is wide open, and Ianto wants to scream. It feels like this was his plan the whole time, making Ianto pay for the stupid, expensive meal. 

He marches back out to the table, glares at the food, and then asks for the check. He swallows his pride and forks over the money, leaving the restraunt before Tosh can ask him any questions.

He's going to kill John Hart.

Unfortunately for Ianto (and fortunately for John), the apartment is empty when Ianto gets home. He gets undressed and climbs into bed, still upset, but also relieved that he won't have to deal with the other man tonight.

John still hasn't returned when Ianto wakes up the next morning. He tries not to think about how quiet his flat is while he gets ready for the day. He arrives at the Hub and immeadiately makes coffee, before the others arrive (or wake up, in Jack's case.) He leaves the tray of mugs out in the open, and then makes his way to the archives.

Tosh is the next to arrive. She smiles fondly at the tray of coffee before taking one, grateful of Ianto's coffee-making skills. She glances towards Jack's office to see the Captain sitting at his desk, sighing over paperwork.

Owen comes in shortly before Gwen. Both are slightly upset, mostly due to the hangovers they're both nursing. They accept their coffees as a blessing. Jack comes out of his office, mostly to escape paperwork, but also to say good morning.

"Ah, I see Ianto's already in," he says, grabbing up the last coffee. "How was your meeting Tosh?"

"It went very well, actually. Mr. Kingston is a generous man, and he's agreed to fund one of Torchwood's projects, which will keep UNIT happy. Although, I did see Ianto last night." She sounds a bit puzzled, as if she's now wondering if she really did see him last night.

"Where was that at?" Owen asks.

"That new fancy restraunt up near all those offices," Tosh says, not confident enough in her pronunciation of the restraunt's name to attempt it.

"More importantly, who was he with?" Gwen asks excitedly, and Jack seems interested as well.

"Well I didn't actually see him with anyone. He came out of the bathroom, and then sat down and paid the bill. Although the table was set for two. It seemed to me like he really just wanted to leave once he saw me."

"Well, you can ask him about it later," Owen replied.

"Or we could ask him about it now," Gwen said as the lift came up carrying the Welshmen. Ianto had been planning on quickly walking past the others, especially Tosh, so that she wouldn't ask about the previous night. All he'd needed was the paperwork from Jack's desk. If UNIT didn't have it by noon, heads were going to roll, apparently, and Ianto had wanted to avoid as many casualties as possible.

As soon as he stepped out of the lift, he saw the others all staring at him. He kept his face neutral, trying not to betray a thing. It wasn't like Tosh had seen him with John afterall.

"I- Were you out to dinner last night?" Tosh asked. Ianto swallowed slowly.

"Yes. I did say I was going to be," he replied smoothly. There was no point in lying...yet.

"Yeah, but you never said you were going somewhere so fancy," Owen cut in. Gwen eyed him suspiciously.

"Who were you with?" she said, eyes narrowed.

"My-"

"I swear to God, Ianto Jones, if you're about to say 'My sister' then I will beat you with this coffee mug," she said, holding up the object threateningly.

"A colleage. From my university days." He'd told worse lies, especially to these four.

"So you've been keeping her a secret from us? Ianto, any friend of yours is a friend of mine!" Jack says in a way that Ianto can tell he wants to meet (and then possibly sleep with) Ianto's colleage.

"Last night was her last night in town. She left early this morning. But I'll be sure to introduce you should she visit again." Ianto had learned that it's best to just go with the ridiculous theories of Torchwood III sometimes. If they actually believed a female friend from college had decided to stay with him for a few days, then why not. 

"Honestly, Ianto. You couldn't have just told us about her instead of all these guessing games! No secret girlfriend then?" Gwen, ever-nosy, asked.

"No, no secret girlfriend. Now, Jack, I need the UNIT paperwork immeadiately. I trust you've filled it out...?" At Jack's sheepish look, Ianto sighs and continues. "No, of course not. Just give me the forms and I'll handle them, then." 

Jack looked at him for a moment more, before walking off to his office to retrieve the paperwork. Gwen and Owen shuffled back to their workstations, content to have finally figured out what was going on with their co-worker. Tosh stayed behind, near Ianto, and began talking in a quiet voice, so that the others couldn't overhear.

"Um, Ianto. I didn't want to say anything to the others, especially Jack, but...I didn't see you with a woman last night. You were with a man." Ianto sputters, trying to come up with a response.

"Please don't say anything," he near begs. Tosh's eyes widen.

"Oh, I wouldn't, don't worry! I just wanted to make sure eveything's okay? I mean, you're not in any trouble, are you?" she asks with nothing but concern. Yes, this is why Ianto had always liked Tosh. She wasn't as nosy as Gwen, and even if she did ask some personal questions, it was for the right reasons. At any rate, it was clear to Ianto that Tosh hadn't seen John's face last night. If she knew who he was actually with, he had a feeling she would have told Jack.

"I am absolutely fine, Tosh. I just want a bit of privacy," he replies easily.

"Ah, yeah, no problem. Right." She nods, and then walks back to her desk just as Jack arrives with the forms.

"Sorry I didn't fill them out, but you know how it is, busy schedule, no time for boring paperwork," Jack says. His mood seems to have improved upon learning that it was only a three day fling situation with Ianto's mystery girlfriend. 

"Of course not, sir. I'll take care of it," Ianto says coolly. He turns around, folder in hand, when Jack says something.

"Thank you."

And that most certainly does not make Ianto's heart skip a beat.

Not at all.

 

John's not there when Ianto returns to his flat that night. Jack's mood had improved greatly since the previous days, and while he'd wanted Ianto to spend the night with him, for once, he really did have to attend a meeting. It was mandatory, like all the others that Jack skipped, but this time UNIT officers came to escort him personally. He'd sent Ianto a pout as he was led out, and the Welshman found that he was actually a bit relieved that he wouldn't be alone with Jack tonight. He had a feeling that he'd let something slip about John, and that could only end in disaster.

Once he was home, Ianto reheated take-out from a few days before after carefully deciding that it was still edible. He sat down on his couch and turned on some mindless telly, hoping to just not have to think for a night. Before he knows it, he's nodding off.

When Ianto next awakens, it's not on his couch. It takes a second for it to register that he hadn't fallen asleep in his bed. He blearily opens his eyes.

"You're heavier than you look," John says from across the room. Ianto groans loudly. 

"Why can't you just go away?" he whines, turning over and covering his face with a pillow.

"Eye Candy, honestly, I'm offended. I was only helping. If you'd slept on that couch, it would have hurt like hell in the morning." Ianto admits to himself that John is completely right. But outwardly, he just groans again.

A minute passes, and then Ianto feels the mattress dip as weight is added to it. Then there's a hand, just resting on his shoulder. Another hand joins the first and then they're moving and Ianto can't help the moan that comes out of his mouth. He can almost feel John smirking at him.

"So, you cook like a chef, you massage like a professional...anything else you're hiding?" Ianto murmurs quietly.

"If I told you, then it wouldn't be nearly as fun," John replies. He continues to knead Ianto's stiff muscles until the man is completely relaxed and content. Ianto lets out a loud yawn.

"Go back to sleep, Ianto..." John whispers, and the other man can do little other than to comply.

 

"It was him! It was definitely him!" Gwen says for what must be the nineteenth time since they all arrived at the Hub that morning. Ianto had awoken to an empty flat, at first making him believe what happened last night to be a dream. But as his brain cleared from its sleepy-fog, he realized it must have happened. 

Ianto arrived first at the Hub, as usual, with Tosh and Owen not far behind. Jack had come down to the main area to greet everyone when Gwen ran in, out of breath and talking more than usual.

"Are you sure you're not mistaken?" Jack asks, as Ianto comes over with coffee for everyone, just entering the conversation.

"I'm not! I definitely saw John Hart this morning!" she says. Ianto is lucky he doesn't drop the tray of mugs right then and there. He can feel his pulse quicken and he's incrredibly nervous.

"Where was he? What was he doing?" Jack asks. While his face remains calm, his tone is clipped, showing just how upset he is.

"I was driving here and he was just walking along the side of the road. When I looked back, he had already gone!"

"And you're sure it's him? Not just some freaky look-a-like?" Owen asks. Gwen glares at him, offended that he would think she could make such a mistake.

"I am absolutely positive. He's ditched that bloody red coat, but it was him, I swear," she returns. Jack is quiet for a minute, then he nods. 

"I'll deal with this," is all he says as he returns to his office. Ianto trades confused looks with the others before returning to the tourists' office. He takes a seat and slowly pulls out his phone, debating whether or not he actually should warn him. He deserves a head start, at least, Ianto reasons before calling the restricted number.

"If you're calling because you want to take the day off from work and spend it with me, then-" John begins.

"Jack knows you're here," Ianto says, straight to the point. The line is quiet for a minute.

"Did you...?" John asks.

"I didn't tell him. Gwen saw you walking around this morning."

"Aww, that's not fair! I was looking for somewhere to take you on our date tonight," John says.

"And when exactly did I agree to that? Our last date didn't end well," Ianto replies, still upset at having to pay the bill.

"It was supposed to be a surprise...ah well, perhaps I'll cook for you tonight, darling!"

"This isn't a joke," Ianto snaps.

"No, no, you're right. Completely serious. But really, Ianto, you mustn't worry. Jack won't be able to find me," John says with an air of utmost confidence. Ianto considers this for a moment.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. So be home by eight and I'll make you something so delicious, you'll never want to eat anything else," John says easily, reassuring Ianto.

"...Alright. See you at eight," Ianto says before hanging up. He lets out a long sigh and then presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, rubbing in frustration. John made everything so stupidly simple and he hated how much he loved how easy it all was. He looked forward to seeing him, he didn't want John to leave, and most of all, John made him feel...important. Like he's the center of attention. John cares about his wants and needs, seemingly more than his own, which is a lot more than Ianto can say for Jack. 

The rest of the day passes by slowly for every member of Torchwood III. Jack barely leaves his office, and when he does it's to pace angrily down the stairs, bark an order at one of the others, and then march back to his office. He has no one idea how to find John. Every scanner and sensor he can think to check says that the man is in another galexy entirely, and no where near Cardiff. But why would Gwen make up seeing him? She's completely assured that it'd been John this morning, but perhaps she'd been mistaken?

The alarm sounds for a weevil problem, and while Jack thinks the distraction may be helpful, he wants to check a few more sources. He sends the other four to handle it, which they do quickly. Finally, just as everyone is getting ready to leave, Jack comes down from his office.

"Gwen, I'm sorry, but John is no where near here. He's not even on this planet at the moment. You must have seen someone else this morning," Jack says. Ianto masks his confusion well.

"I'm telling you, Jack, it was definitely him!" Gwen says. Jack humors her by telling her that should she see him again, to call him immediately. She leaves quickly after that, clearly in a bad mood. Tosh and Owen are deep in conversation when they leave, both smiling and laughing, and Ianto's happy that the two are getting along.

"Ianto," Jack says, walking right up to the younger man and pulling him so that they're almost touching.

"Jack," Ianto breathes, his heart beating quicker than he thought possible. Jack leans in and plants a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. He pulls back and moves his mouth to Ianto's ear.

"Stay with me tonight," he whispers. Ianto wants to melt into Jack and never leave him. But the image of John flickers into his head.

"I..can't," he manages softly. Jack pulls back quickly and Ianto's never seen him so disappointed.

"Why not? It's been over a week Ianto, but every time I offer, you turn me down."

"I just have plans ton-"

"Is it because of your college girl?" Jack interrupts. Ianto's first thought is to answer, no, of course not, but then he realizes that's probably the best thing to say.

"Yes." Jack looks miserable, although Ianto's not really sure why. He can't have been that good in bed, not good enough for Jack to really be upset about losing him.

"You love her?" he asks quietly.

"I- It's complicated." He couldn't actually say he does, not when he knows it's John Hart they're talking about. 

"It's fine if you do, Ianto. I just want to understand. I thought things between us were going very well." Ianto doesn't really know how to respond to that. He'll admit that shagging Jack had been going very well, but Jack makes it sound like their relationship was more than that.

"Jack, we're fine. This isn't going to affect our professional relationship at all, if that's what you're worried about. I'll continue to do my job as always," Ianto explains. Jack will no longer meet Ianto's eyes.

"That's not what I'm worried about at all. I know you'll remain professional. Ianto, you...mean a lot to me. But if you've found someone else, that's understandable. That's more than understandable, that's expected." 

Ianto doesn't breathe for a few moments, because that almost made it sound like Jack...liked him. Like he actually mattered to him, as more than just a quick shag. 

"There's no one else," Ianto says quietly, and it feels like a lie even if it isn't. Jack swallows audibly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jack," Ianto says as he quickly leaves the Hub. Jack does nothing to stop him, but Ianto doesn't expect him to. 

He glances at his watch when he gets into his car and realizes that it's ten minutes past when John told him to be home. He starts his car and drives off to his flat, equally dreading and looking forward to seeing John. Stupid, stupid John who'd caused all this. He made a mental note to question him about what he'd learned earlier from Jack as he parked and got out.

The flat smelled beyond amazing when he unlocked the door. John was standing at the stove, swaying his hips and humming a tune Ianto had never heard before. He entered the kitchen and was tempted to grab John from behind, but the notion of it was so strange to Ianto that he didn't. This was John, John Hart who killed men simply because he wasn't fond of the way they looked, and yet he had Ianto wrapped around his finger. Well, thought Ianto, maybe not quite wrapped around his finger. But something close to it.

"What are you making?" Ianto asks him, slipping off his jacket and tossing it on the couch.

"Coq au vin," John says, over exaggerating his French accent and causing Ianto to smile in amusement.

"And I actually had the ingredients for that in my flat?" 

"No, no, you officially have absolutely nothing in your refrigerator now. I stopped by the supermarket earlier." 

"I thought you said they were horrible?"

"It was," John replies. Ianto has to repeat, this is John Hart, probable psychopath, over and over in his mind to get over the feeling that hearing the man did something he deemed horrible for Ianto's sake.

"Well then, let's hope it's worth it," Ianto replies, sitting down at his small dining table. There are two wine glasses set out on the table, and after John has added some spice to the dish, he fills both glasses with a wine Ianto recognizes as costing more than he earns in a month.

"Where exactly did you get the money for this little shopping trip of yours?" 

"Relax, Ianto," John says, "I have my ways." Maybe it's a testament to his shaky at best morals that Ianto is relieved that John wasn't spending his money. He could have robbed a bank and Ianto still would have been okay with it.

John serves a portion of chicken onto each of their plates. The presentation looks absolutely amazing, and Ianto idly notes that John could easily open a restaurant if conning ever loses its appeal. He places the plate on the table and then pulls out a candle and sets it in the middle. It's ridiculous and cheesy, but Ianto finds he doesn't mind too much. 

They eat slowly, Ianto completely absorbed by how amazing the dish is, and John watching Ianto curiously. He seems to be taking note of the other man's reactions. The conversation is easy and natural. Both men seem to be completely at ease with each other. 

After the meal, Ianto cleans up the dishes while John turns on bad reality television. Ianto checks the fridge to find that John was not exaggerating when he said that Ianto had no food at all. 

"I'm gonna have to go shopping..." he says absently.

"When's your next day off?" John asks from the couch.

"Day after tomorrow."

"We'll go then," John answers decisively.

"You want to go to a supermarket again?" Ianto asks, surprised. He makes his way into the living room area and sits beside John on the couch.

"Well I have to, don't I?" On Ianto's questioning look, he continues. "I have to make sure you get the right ingredients if I'm going to keep cooking for you."

"I'm going to get fat if you keep it up..." Ianto mutters, although he wouldn't mind getting fat if it meant eating John's cooking everyday.

John laughed loudly. "Now we wouldn't want that." 

Ianto leans over and pulls him into a rough kiss. Rough was his intention, at least, but John turns it into something sweet and soft. Ianto leans and pushes himself into the kiss, but John pulls away.

"Not tonight," he whispered, and Ianto could feel the confusion on his face. John just kissed him again, then leaned back on the couch and pulled Ianto next to him so that they were laying side by side, John's arms wrapped around Ianto's waist.

Ianto didn't want to think about what it meant that John didn't want to shag. Instead, he let himself be comforted by the other man's presence and drifted off into an easy sleep.


End file.
